and maybe this is how it goes, darling
you on the couch & me, with my sweat-
soaked bra lying across your lap. dappled
sunlight peeks through blinds we forgot
to close & you’re busy rubbing menthol&alcohol
into my skin to stop the pain. this is how
it goes, darling; raise the white flag & tell
me the town of desire tunnel of love is still
open. promise me that you’ll manage to
make time to stay. promise me that you’ll
still love me.
and maybe this is how it goes, baby, our
home created by dappled sunlight & rich desire
& the air scented with menthol & i guess you’re
like dante’s inferno, because i’d do it all again
if i had the choice; watch the sunset go down
& tell me you’ll stay; watch me leave & tell
me you want me anyways. they say if
you love someone, you let them go, but baby,
i’m so terrified of letting you go.
(you has become synonymous with home
& i can’t lose you anymore. not when
i’ve created this home with you. not
when i’ve loved you in a way i can’t
bear to lose you with.)
& maybe desire is the end-all-be-all for creation,
in which case, we’ve got until sand fills the hourglass
because i’m so fucking desperate to keep you
here forever, or as long as i can, or at least
until the sun goes down, so i can beg you to
share this home with me. to create this home with me.
to live in dappled sunlight & rich desire & the
air scented with menthol & if i had to, baby, i’d
do it all again.
over & over & over & over &
until sand ran out of the hourglass, if it meant you’d
stayhere staymine stayforever stay until sundown
if it meant you’d stay my home.
arushi (aera) rege is a queer, chronically in pain, Indian-American poet who simultaneously attends junior year in high school. They tweet occasionally @academic_core and face the perils of instagram @aeranem_26. Their works have been published in Gastropoda Lit, Full House Literary Magazine, fifth wheel press, and more. Their debut chapbook, BROWN GIRL EPIPHANY, is forthcoming with fifth wheel press. You can find their website at arushiaerarege.carrd.co.
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