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sources - devon webb

Updated: Mar 14

cw: SA, rape, victim blaming


Men ask me to cite my sources 

but trauma doesn’t really come with sources 

what do you want me to say 

please refer to file B 

11th of July 2020

it was a Thursday 

& the police didn’t come 

& L called it ‘girl drama’ 

& that he’s been friends with my 

abuser longer than me so 

if he were to take sides 

which he won’t of course 

but if he did, well 

it won’t be on mine 


Or do I refer you to the next instalment 

when the boy I dated as a trauma response 

raped me, then told me it was my fault 

I could try get a quote from him but 

he’s on meth now so it might be tricky 

though you could reference the facebook post 

where he defended his rape of me 

in detail 

to all our mutual friends 


& what about when the drummer said 

you kinda asked for him posting that on facebook 

cos you wrote a poem & posted it on facebook 

as if a poem about being raped & 

a defence of said rape are the same thing 

as if it’s ok for a man to say well, shit 

you should’ve just stayed silent you 

outspoken poet you 

with your sin of discomforting men on the internet 

is that a source enough for you! 

or does it not count 

because you weren’t there 

you didn’t hear it 

it was CubaDupa 2021 for the record 

& it ruined my whole weekend 


Or do I pull out the dms

that said misogyny is a harsh & serious accusation! 

& I’ve only heard it from you 

& you had a crush on ALL the boys in this band so 

hmmmmm

as if me having a crush on (one) boy in this band 

had anything to do with them being 

friends with my rapist

& letting him swan around backstage at their gig 

with his big fat rapist mouth 

eating me alive in my paralysis 

like a spider only uglier 


what about August 2021 

Brooklyn Village 

when another drummer didn’t take 

no for an answer 

then all his friends said 

I was the predator 

& gave me death stares

on the San Fran balcony 

if I cited my sources 

would you take them as true 

or make up a fake one 

to self-protect your own clique 

is it clicking yet?


what evidence 

do I have 

but the bruises that faded 

three years ago 

what evidence 

do I have 

but the photographs 

of the word WH0RE in my bedroom 

what evidence 

do I have 

but your fear 

telling 

on 

yourself 


the police didn’t care 

so why should I file a report for you 

you weren’t even there 

so why should I relive it all in detail

just so you can wonder 

if it really did happen 

if it really was bad enough 

to call someone a 

‘thinly-veiled misogynist’ 

I didn’t even name them 

but would that help?

or would it just enrage you.




Devon Webb is a 25-year-old writer & editor based in Aotearoa New Zealand. Her work has been widely published worldwide & revolves around themes of femininity, vulnerability, anti-capitalism & neurodivergence. She is an in-house writer for Erato Magazine, an editor for Prismatica Press & is currently working on the final edits of her debut novel. She can be found on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok & Bluesky at @devonwebbnz.

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