we are baptized as burden
because our bodies are deemed
another person’s problem
because our bodies are doomed,
another person’s inconvenience
but by a jury of our peers, we
find ourselves again, made anew
speakers of a common tongue
do not have to enter so much
evidence to be considered
instead, we are fluent
(tired, but fluent):
spoons dynamic
flare gentle hugs
fog inspiration porn
these words are cognates, shifting
meaning from one culture
to the next, losing meaning
from one culture to the next
in a society that plays pretend
we are all one
a society that mimes inclusion
so long as we are silent, too
there are things we are not allowed
to crip (this ambiguous we meaning all
and nothing):
language
thought
sentiment
expectations
building entrances
(except where prohibited by law)
parking
(except where prohibited by law)
schools
(except where prohibited by law)
justice—
pretty nearly anything but
a body should not be cripped and—
to be clear—neither should a body be
and therein lies the dilemma:
pity (disability could be nobody’s choice
and thus Those People should engender
our deepest condolences for their bodyminds)
or
shame (we all have agency; disability is a choice,
a series of choices, a mindset, a refusal
to try harder and, therefore, your cripped
body is wrong, and you are the one at fault for it)
we might say these both
are errors incorrect misinformed
even mere shit opinions if we’re feeling spicy
but we disabled do not have a say
in such matters do not have a language
for such matters, or maybe—
maybe the language we have
simply doesn’t translate into Abled
Audrey T. Carroll is the author of the What Blooms in the Dark (ELJ Editions, 2024) and Parts of Speech: A Disabled Dictionary (Alien Buddha Press, 2023). Her writing has appeared in Lost Balloon, CRAFT, JMWW, Bending Genres, and others. She is a bi/queer/genderqueer and disabled/chronically ill writer. She serves as a Diversity & Inclusion Editor for the Journal of Creative Writing Studies, and as a Fiction Editor for Chaotic Merge Magazine. She can be found at http://AudreyTCarrollWrites.weebly.com and @AudreyTCarroll on Twitter/Instagram.